Introduction

Parental alienation is a term used to refer to a scenario whereby a child starts to develop a negative attitude towards one parent through the influence of the other parent. This can be especially prevalent in cases of high-conflict divorce and separation. Some of the effects of parental alienation include the child developing psychological and behavioral issues. This article gives an insight into parental alienation and gives information on how divorced and separated parents should handle it.

 

What is Parental Alienation?

 

Definition and Key Characteristics

Parental alienation entails a situation where one parent turns a child against the other parent or completely isolates the child from them. Key characteristics include:

 

– Child shows unnecessary aggression, contempt, or fear towards the parent that is being targeted

– Child uses illogical and trivial excuses for not liking the targeted parent.

– Child minimizes or avoids praising the targeted parent or only speaks negatively about them.

– Child siding with the alienating parent against the targeted parent

 

Common Alienating Behaviors

Some frequent alienating behaviors that the favored parent may use include:Some frequent alienating behaviors that the favored parent may use include:

 

– Passing remarks about the other parent that are likely to be disliked by the child

– Preventing child from interacting with the other parent

– Disrupting communication through call/message blocking

– Inform child the other parent does not love them

– Making the child despise the other parent

 

Effects on Children

Parental alienation can seriously impact children leading to:Parental alienation can seriously impact children leading to:

 

– Low self-esteem and identity crisis

– Strained emotional development

– Poor ability to communicate with others and build healthy relationships in adulthood

– Depression, anxiety, other psychological disorders

 

Causes and Motivations

Common causes and motivations for parental alienation include:Common causes and motivations for parental alienation include:

 

– Spite or vengeful motives to ensure that the ex-spouse suffers in some ways

– This is in the perspective that alienation has the effect of protecting the child.

– It failed to distinguish between parents’ conflict and the child’s perspective

– Conflicting issues around the inability to change identity and status after a divorce

 

Preventing Parental Alienation

 

Parenting Tips for Positive Discipline and Communication

Parents going through separation or divorce can take certain steps to prevent parental alienation:Parents going through separation or divorce can take certain steps to prevent parental alienation:

 

Do:

 

– Support child’s relationships with both parents

– Encouraging contact between the child and the other parent as often as possible.

– Share child’s questions/concerns with the ex-spouse

– Support child’s emotions to not speak ill of the other parent

– Encounter a counsellor to treat the cause of alienation behaviors

 

Don’t:

 

– Interject negativity about ex-spouse in the presence of the child

– Let child act as a messenger or spy when changing allegiance.

– Call for opposing loyalties that a child needs to struggle for

– Try to refuse child access to the ex-spouse as a means of punishing the child

– Disregard child custody arrangements with the intent of getting a response from the former partner

 

Tips for Transition Times

A change of households is also a critical period that may be characterized by the use of alienating behaviors. Useful tips include:

 

– Keep transitions short with small talk on the topic that is in the middle of the subject matter.

– Keep to daily and weekly schedules and procedures

– Do not mention the ex-spouse or the divorce at all

– Direct attention at child’s emotion and thought process

– Discuss any concern that may be highlighted by the child

 

Responding to Concerning Behaviors

If ex-spouse exhibits alienating behaviors, useful responses include:If ex-spouse exhibits alienating behaviors, useful responses include:

 

– Try a legal approach by going to a lawyer, counselor etc.

– Keep calm in front of the child and avoid arguing or getting aggressive with an ex-spouse.

– It can also be used to make sure that the child knows that they are loved no matter what and that they will always have support.

– Stress wanting to know or hear from the child’s perspective.

– Document concerning incidents

 

Treatment and Intervention

 

Overcoming Parental Alienation

While challenging, alienation can sometimes be overcome by:While challenging, alienation can sometimes be overcome by:

 

– More contact between child and targeted parents

– Applying strict rules to prevent and punish manipulative conduct

– Acknowledging child’s autonomy and point of view

– Assisting a child to avoid being forced to take sides

– Seeking counseling to develop strategies for dealing with stress

 

Professional Intervention Strategies

Useful professional interventions include:

 

– Parent education programs to identify alienation tactics

– This can involve the scheduling of mediation sessions to develop management access plans.

– Selecting an independent person to represent the best interest of the child

– Family reunification counseling

– Temporary change of residence to help the child avoid exposure to the alienating behaviors

 

Recovery for Children

Children are remarkably resilient. In most cases, with support, the effects of even the severest parental alienation can be fully undone. Useful strategies include:

 

– Developing interests and talents of child

– Continuing to be close to our extended relatives

– Positive reinforcement and achievement: the ways to enhance self-esteemed

– Counseling for the single and married people

– Organizational voluntarism for improving concern for others’ welfare

 

Conclusion

 

Parental alienation is a severe problem that occurs in cases of separation and divorce and its impact on children is highly negative. It is, however, important for parents to know that there are things one can do to prevent and reduce alienation. Thus, the child-centered approach, acknowledgement of the child’s point of view, and seeking appropriate professional help when needed can be effective in preventing negative consequences for children and families facing this challenge. However, if there is commitment and focus, parents and children can eradicate alienation and be close-knit once again.